A Bit of Rambling

So! I had the thought that I would write a series of blog posts about all the awesome things that Arkansas has given the world. I have lived in Arkansas my entire life. I am not a well-traveled person. I wish I was, but I am not. I've never even seen the ocean. Pitiful, I know. The truth is there are a lot of areas where Arkansas disappoints me. Mostly in the area of fun things to do. I don't think my state takes enough advantage of the tourist potential here. It seems to me that we focus a lot on state parks (which I love) and a little bit on Little Rock...which is at least a start.

Arkansas is on the way to several big tourist destinations. We have Branson just north of us, Nashville and Memphis to our east, Oklahoma is to our West. Texas and all the awesome things offered there is just south of us, and New Orleans is only a few hours drive from Little Rock. It just seems to me that with about 25 million people living within a days drive of Little Rock, we would do more for tourism. Okay...now I'm finished with my mini-rant.

One thing that has absolutely annoyed me for YEARS is the snobbery I've encountered from others when I mention that I live in Arkansas and have my whole life. I've heard "Oh, I'm so sorry." Usually stated in a mocking, smirky way. I've heard the hillbilly jokes (by the way, my family is Scots Irish and we are a long line of hillfolk...I resent being treated as if that is something to be ashamed of. It's NOT). I've also heard a lot of barefoot and backward jokes. After awhile it gets under a person's skin. Whether these things are said in jest or with malice...it's not only insensitive, it's also outright ignorant.

Arkansas has many, many people to be proud of. We've produced a president and more than a couple of presidential hopefuls. We are the home of such awesome nonprofits as Heifer International and Family Life. We've turned out some of the most noted entertainers and writers in history...does Maya Angelou ring a bell? And of course, we can't ignore the impact and influence that Walmart has had on the world. It is the largest business on the globe!

So, I intend to devote blogs to educate myself and others about the history of the people of Arkansas and our contribution to the globe. Maybe I will be inspired to make my own mark.

Origins Blogfest...My Journey So Far

Recently I began reading the blog of a local writer named Brinda Berry and through her blog, I learned of the Origins Blogfest. Lots (and lots) of authors have signed up, and since I tend to sit around biting my lip trying to come up with interesting blog posts, I signed up also. It seems like a fun thing. On days when I struggle to write a sentence, it's a good and cathartic thing to go back in my life and remember what made me want to write in the first place. Why is it that I have obsessed with writing since I was a small child? I am nearing 40 (will be 39 in July), and I haven't exactly written the best sellers I thought I would when I was a teenager. In fact, I haven't done most of the things I always said I would. Yet, this is one dream I CAN NOT let go of. Why? Even on days I want to give up and find a new dream, I can't. I can't. Why?

The answer must be in my origins.

Me and my Mom June 1975, the day referred to

I am one of those rare folk who has memories back to toddler years. My first memories take place when I am  not quite 2 yrs old. I can recall running through my aunt's house in my panties with her son's coat on...well, not really on. I put the hood of the coat on my head and let the coat hang off of me. I was pretending I was a super hero and the coat was my cape. I remember my Mom carrying me into the mall in North Little Rock on that same day to have my picture taken. She stood me on the floor just inside the entrance of the mall. I was barefoot, and it was June of 1975. I couldn't walk on the asphalt outside because my bare feet would have been charred flesh. However, the floor of the mall was cool and dry. My Mom took me down the escalator to the lower level. Today that level is the food court, but back then there was a fountain at the base of the stairs. It had many colored lights that the water flowed over. I wanted to get in that fountain badly, but my Mom said, "No, no, baby. Hot burn. Hot burn."

Me, almost 2, after my cousin took his coat back 

Well, she didn't have to worry about me touching it then. I had touched a hot stove not long before, so I sure as heck knew what "hot burn" meant. Any time my family wanted me to stay away from something, they said it was "hot burn." Whether it was or not. One day my cousins were eating strawberries under a tree in their backyard (it was around this same time and I was close to this same age). I asked my cousin John for a strawberry. He said, "Oh, no, baby. You can't have these. These are hot burn." He just didn't want to share with me. I wouldn't eat strawberries for years after that....but I digress.

I think having such a stark and clear memory plays into my writing obsession. I remember smells, textures, colors, facial expressions, clothing, songs, what people were wearing at certain times...I remember a lot. My memory was great to have in school because I could ace tests with little effort. If I read something, heard something, or saw something...I remembered it. I honestly think this helps me in writing. I enjoy visiting those memories the way I visit my characters in their worlds.

From my very first memories, I can recall how my Mom and Dad loved to listen to music. Whenever Meat Loaf would sing "Two out of Three Ain't Bad" I would stare out of the car window and play scenes in my head. I would imagine lovers dancing and saying sweet things to each other or (in the case of the above song) tears as one loved more than the other did. Even at 4yrs old, I knew that was messed up. I would hear Sheena Easton singing "My baby takes the morning train" and I would visualize the song and make up stories in my head. My Dad loved Three Dog Night and Credence Clearwater Revival. For some reason those edgier rock groups gave me the creeps...just a little bit. When their songs would play, I would imagine danger and night time. I would think about bad guys being hunted by the good guys. I would dream up adventures.

I'm not saying I didn't like their music. It just had a different feel and effect on my imagination.

When I was in 2nd grade and we got our report card for the FIRST nine weeks of school, I noticed that it said I was at 1st grade reading level. Well, that just wouldn't do. I was in 2nd grade! It didn't matter to me that it was still the beginning of 2nd grade. This girl doesn't like to be behind anyone. I took it on myself to rectify that little situation. By the end of that school year, I won an award for reading 53 books. And my reading level shot up. By the time I was 11, I was at a 12th grade reading level. I LOVED to read. That report card galvanized me to read, and I am thankful for it. I read The Prince and The Pauper by Mark Twain that year. It lit my imagination on fire!!

I still hadn't settled on being a writer when I grew up. It was a couple of years later that the bug finally bit. I was 10 years old. when the movie The Outsiders came out. Wow. I loved that movie. It had drama and adventure. It had a huge heart! I loved Ponyboy and I was in love with Darry! That was still a few years before Patrick Swayze become Johnny Castle and told the world that no one "puts Baby in a corner." He was gorgeous. I come from a poor family just like Ponyboy. My family was every bit as poor as the Curtis family, but I remember being so glad I had my Mom and Dad and all my aunts, uncles and cousins...and my Grandma. My whole family were roofers. Just like Ponyboy and his family.

Teen Me, no that's NOT a mullet. I had on barrettes.

When I discovered that the movie was based on a book...a book written by a teen-aged S.E. Hinton...I was ecstatic. I had read that book over and over long before I was required to read it in junior high. S.E. Hinton is the reason I wanted to become a writer. That same year (when I was 10) I had to read some sentences in my English class at school. I made my teacher and the other kids laugh, and I got a lot of compliments on those sentences...that pretty much sealed the deal. I OFFICIALLY wanted to be a writer.

I studied everything I could get my hands on after that. I read magazines on writing. I read the articles in The Writer's Market and I studied all the guidelines. I read any interviews with "real writers" that I could find. I joined a writer's group as a teenager and met a great writer for Harlequin named Gina Wilkins when she came to speak to our group. She was encouraging and gave a little bit of advice. I am grateful to her for taking the time. I was naive and had no idea how many people wanted her to pause in her own writing to help them. She was kind to a kid, and I never forgot.

While I was in high school, I entered a short story contest at my school. I got third place for that year's anthology. It was so funny. The two stories that beat me were both poignant drama...serious literature type stuff. My story was about a girl who dreamed every night about a pirate that she fell in love with...then after the dreams stopped she ran into her "pirate" in real life and discovered he had been having the exact same dreams. I remember one day as I walked into one of my classrooms a very popular basketball player called out my name. When I looked at him, he said, "I read your story." Then he smiled at me and winked. One of those, I wish I knew you thought like that before type winks. I got a lot of good feedback on that silly little story. I think it was because it was fun.

I've had plenty of missteps along the way. I basically wasted my 20's. I probably shouldn't tell this story, but I will anyway. I tend to be pretty open about my own stupidity. When I was in my early 20's I had the idea of a teen time travel book. A girl goes back to the 1930's with her best friend. While there, she saves the life of the brother of her best friend's grandfather, and in turn clears their family's reputation. It was actually a great premise. I was so incredibly stupid that I queried Simon Schuster with it. I wrote my very first query letter before I had ever written a word of the book. In my idiotic reasoning, I thought that since Writer's Market said they reply in 3 months that I had time to write the book and get it ready.

They replied in just under 3 weeks and wanted to see my outline and three sample chapters. I still had nothing written. I basically threw something together and sent it off...and of course promptly got my first rejection letter. I took my first chance at getting published and blew it like a trumpet.

Over the years, I've found the whole process of the writing business to be daunting. It takes a lot of time and effort to produce a polished and worthy manuscript. Then (in the old days) you would have to shop that ms around. Some publishers would accept unsolicited manuscripts, so you could send off your query, proposal, and/or whole manuscript to be tossed into a slush pile in some overworked editor's office. At which point you would wait months to receive a reply...usually a polite rejection form letter. Or you could do the same process as above, only instead of publishers you would send your baby out to agents and hope they would like you and want to jump on board your bandwagon with you.

IF you got accepted and were one of the lucky ones who sold a book, you then had to wait for the book to be released. The whole process can take months or even years. Sounds fun, right?

I used to sit down to write, and I would find myself distracted by this. It didn't make me lose my passion for my story, but it just bothered me and I thought about what a pain in the butt the whole process was. It put me off. Not off writing...I can't change who I fundamentally am...but it put me off the business of writing.

Then along came Amazon. I no longer needed to beg for the golden key to the golden gate. If I like my stuff, I can put it up. Period. If I decide later I don't like it, I can take it down and either revise or trash it. But the point is that the whole process is up to me now. I get to pick the cover I want. I get to decide for myself if my writing is good enough. I get to keep up to 70% of my royalties! Maybe my stuff will sell and maybe it won't. The point is that my whole life as a writer is up to ME for the first time EVER!!!

I have a couple of short stories up right now. The Prisoner is not doing well. In fact, I've only sold a few copies since it was release last April. I think only friends and family bought any. I keep thinking I will take it down and see what changes I can come up with to make it better. I'm sure I can improve the story. I think the main things that keep it from selling is that the title is pretty generic. MUST CHANGE THE TITLE! And the cover is a bit bland. It was only my 2nd attempt to ever design a cover. It is the story of an agoraphobic woman who is about to commit suicide when an escaped convict breaks into her home.

The other is a story called Shattering Inside. The cover of that one probably needs to be changed also. It is a drama I wrote in college many years ago for a creative writing class. It is the story of a girl who was sexually abused as a child and has struggled to get past the abuse. When she finally thinks she has healed, she learns that her attacker has passed away and it causes all of the old feelings to come back up.

I put it up because I wanted to make sure I could teach myself the process. I can't afford to pay anyone to design my covers or format my stuff. I wanted to be sure I could do it on my own. I put the cover together and uploaded the story. I didn't even tell my friends or family that I did it. It was my very first title to ever be published on Kindle.

The story (with NO promotion from me at all) immediately began to sell. Not much. Just a couple here and there. So, last summer I tried an experiment. I made the book free on Smashwords (where nothing seems to sell). Amazon would not allow me to set it to free there, so I waited for the internet spiders to realize it was free somewhere else and finally make it free on Amazon. When it did, the change was amazing. The story started being downloaded left and right. Thousands. Within a few days it was in the top ten on Kindle's free fiction list (I think #7 was as high as it climbed) and in the top 100 of Kindles overall free fiction. I was in shock. I left it free until about November and it got strong downloads but it never reached the ranks it did in the summer. I set the price high at $2.99 (I consider that a bit high because it is a short story and not a novel, but it was an experiment...just to see what would happen), and it continued to sell. After the first of the year, I put it back to .99. It continues to sell here and there...just a few copies so far this month. It's even gotten decent reviews, though I think the book is a bit polarizing. People seem to either like it or hate it. My rank on Goodreads is right at 3 stars. Not great.

I'm hoping to do much, much better with my next release. But I am still learning and I'm nowhere near where I want to be as a writer. I just want to finish stuff and write MORE WORDS! That's the hardest part...for sure.

Anyway, that is my journey so far. I am working on a thriller right now called Swagger and a drama called Coffee. Hope to have them both up soon.

Good luck to all of you out there with dreams you can't let go of. Hang on tight and never give up.

What It Takes To Be A Man

I just read a post on Facebook that at once made me angry and...well, freaking annoyed. I wanted to respond to the post, but I held back. I just unfriended the creep. It usually takes a lot to make me unfriend someone. This particular status update not only rubbed me the wrong way, it just got my Irish up and hit a sore spot with me. It was posted by a minister! A minister for crying out loud! What was this awful post? Well, be forewarned, not everyone will agree with me. Some people may see things my way...the right way...and get angry. While others...the pathetic result of an overly PC society...might agree with the guy who made the post. Personally, I found it repulsive. I guess I'm a bit old fashioned.

He stated that any Dads of daughters who thought it was cute to try to intimidate his sons before a date better be prepared for him to come over to their house. He said that if they could intimidate his sons, they better be prepared for him to do the same to their daughters.

What a jerk!

First off, is that the kind of men this minister is raising? The kind who think it's fine for a man to intimidate a woman? Tit for Tat? Look at the big man scaring a girl. Are we so backward in this world that we no longer see the differences between men and women?

Look, my husband and I are raising our son to be a gentleman. We are teaching him that chivalry still matters. We are teaching him that as a man he should be willing to stand up to scrutiny and have his honor tested. I have no problem with any Dad of any daughter he dates giving him the third degree or laying a little intimidation down. My son will be man enough to take it, and he will be honorable enough that the Dad in question will know my son will treat his daughter with respect, kindness, and integrity.

It made me think of that fiasco last month with that Italian cruise ship. How the captain abandoned the ship. One of our local news outlets asked if the old "women and children first" rule was outdated. I was shocked at how many men and women alike said it was. There were women who stated that their son's life is as valuable as a woman's and a lot of men stating how they would make sure they got saved. How disgusting that we live in an "every man for himself" world where no one is willing to put others ahead of themselves. How gross.

I thought the whole point of that rule was that children be gotten to safety, and usually they would need their mothers with them. Someone would need to take care of the children. That being said, I do believe that if a woman is healthy, she should be willing to put herself aside for those who are smaller, weaker, or disabled. I don't believe that a woman's life is more valuable than a man's. But what kind of strong and healthy man would put himself ahead of others...especially children? That's not the kind of man I want to know.

It just seems to me that there is a distinct lack of honor and strength these days.

Oh, I know the REAL men are still around. There are still heroes.They are out there everyday, putting themselves in harms way on the battlefields and in the patrol cars...men and women alike who know the definition of honor and sacrifice. I am not trying to state that all men are wimps who use feminism as an excuse to be a coward. I do believe there are good men and woman who are strong and full of great character.

We are teaching our son that the true measure of a man is found in his heart and his character. He doesn't have to be tall, strong, wealthy, or successful by world standards to be a great man. He must have integrity, honor, and courtesy. My son will NEVER be the sort who would intimidate a woman, nor will he be the sort to wither under the scrutiny and stare of a protective daddy. He won't need to wither, because he will stand the test.

My husband is a REAL man. He is kindhearted. He has never tried to intimidate me or any other woman. He walks in strength and doesn't feel the need to lord that over his family or anyone else.

 He has no qualms about questioning the intentions of a boy who dates his daughters. He is polite, but he is also direct. It's not about intimidation. It's about laying down the rules of what behavior he will and will not accept from a young man. I am not condoning a parent acting like a bully. However, if a Dad wants to clean his rifle when my son picks up his daughter, my son better have the smarts to respect the man and his child.

Do I really, really care if you disagree with me? Nope. The weak and pathetic have become the norm today. I know there are still some out there with a shred of intelligence and decency still in them who are raising their sons the same way I am raising mine. What kind of military would we have if every man raised his sons the way that joker is talking? A bunch of wussies who might cry if someone looks at them wrong. Please!

Yes, I know I am overreacting a bit...well, maybe a lot. This kind of stuff just gets my Irish up. I am still old fashioned enough to believe that a man should stand tall and do the right thing. I don't think threatening to "intimidate" girls is right or honorable. Period.

I May Be Just Who I am, But HE is I Am That I Am!

Me and my family in Eureka Springs 

I am who I am. I'm a bit on the nerdy side, and I'm all right with that. I'm quite a bit overweight. I'm not so okay with that. I love books.  I have since I was very young. I love the sound of fingers typing on a keyboard. I find it exciting. Yes. I am really that nerdy. I love music, and my tastes are all over the board eclectic. I like everything from rap to country to old time rock...but I prefer worship over all of the above.

I adore my family, and I try to be what they need.

I have a temper. I don't know if it's my Irish blood, my hill folk heritage, or my trailer park upbringing, but if something sets me off, the explosion can be pretty loud. I'm not saying that's a right way to behave. It's not. It's a work of the flesh and ungodly. It's an area where the Holy Spirit is still growing and changing me.

I am SUPER proud of my family. My children are a gift from God, and I don't know how I ever lived before them. Of course I had to live before...anyway. Sometimes I think I expect too much from my kids. That's yet another area that I take to the Lord. That and the nagging fear that I could be failing them or holding them back...or just not measuring up as a mom and wife.

The truth is that I could sit here and list a lot of areas where I need to improve. The fact is that I am who I am.  At least for the moment. See, the areas where I can't change on my own  or the places where I might fail and even the parts of myself I'm happy with (the spots where I think I have it together)...I give to Jesus. I give all of me to Jesus.

I am WHO I am, and I will never be anymore than that without His help. I am fully dependent on the Lord. I can do nothing on my own. In Him I live, and move, and have my being (Acts 17:28).

It's so reassuring to know that where I am WHO  (or what) I am, He  Is "I Am THAT I Am (Ex. 3:14)". HE is the self-sufficient one. There is none like Him!! He NEVER changes, but He is the only one who can change me. He needs no one to sustain Him, yet He is my portion. No one can stand next to Him. He has no equal. Yet, He's my shield.

He is I AM! I  am so very grateful and glad that I call Him LORD!

I dreamed last night that I escaped into the heating and air duct of a large building to get away from an exploding room. Why you ask was the room exploding? Because two security bad guys  threw bombs into the room then locked me in to protect the secrets I had just uncovered in said room.

It's a good thing it was a dream. I mean, first, I doubt there would have been enough time to even get the panel off of the duct before the explosion. Second, what if in real life the panel was like the ones in my apartment? About the size of a piece of paper from a legal pad. Third, would that even work? I mean, would the explosion stay in the room or would it follow a person into the duct? Also, I'm a big girl. I've really put on the poundage since my youngest child was born 6 years ago. I would have gotten stuck in there like those idiots who try to climb down chimneys either because they want to rob the place or they forgot their house key. Yes, I actually read recently where some man forgot his house key and tried to get into his house by climbing down his chimney. He got stuck and had to be rescued.

I guess it's a good thing you don't have to do research for a dream. You just take them as they are. For instance, I came out of the ducts right into a huge family reunion. I got caught between two relatives who don't get along. I was terrified there would be a fight and was praying they would be civil.

Yes, boys and girls, I can handle homicidal security guards, lethal explosions, and confined places. However, the very thought of fighting relatives fills my heart with fear and dread.

Don' you wish your dreams were as exciting as mine? My real life adventure last night wasn't nearly so novel. It consisted of discussing which brand of toilet paper was best with an employee at Wal-Mart. I told her my husband likes Scott best. It's just soft enough and lasts longer than any other brand we've tried. Right now it is in sale, so it's also the cheapest. It's on "roll back."

Yes, my life is exciting.

Fake Miniature Photography Photos | Fake Miniature Photography Pictures - Yahoo! Games

This is awesome!

Fake Miniature Photography Photos | Fake Miniature Photography Pictures - Yahoo! Games:

'via Blog this'

Miserlymoms.com | Living Well On Less In A Tough Economy

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this site and the books that go with it. Check it out if you want to learn to get more for your money.

Miserlymoms.com | Living Well On Less In A Tough Economy:

'via Blog this'

Crazy People and Kids Who Live With Them

He had a Kool-Aid stain on his T-shirt. That's the second thing I noticed about the guy who rang my doorbell last night looking for his grandchildren. The first thing that registered with me was intelligent blue eyes and neat gray hair. I think that is why my eyes kept being drawn to the Kool-Aid stain. His attire of stained tee and checkered shorts didn't seem to line up with his articulate and charming manner.

He thanked us for keeping his two small grandchildren last evening after their mother was taken away in an ambulance. We were happy to help. Michael (the 4 yr old who I had mistakenly called Matthew for a good hour when I first met him) kept saying, "My Mama is gonna be just fine. She's gonna be just fine." His sister, tiny and beautiful 6 yr old Amber, was a bit harder to understand. She has a speech impediment, so I called her Emma for the first hour. I have no excuse beyond my own hearing for calling Michael by the wrong name.

I felt so badly for the babies.

I had went to play rehearsal at church yesterday afternoon. I wanted to stay for service, but Shawn has been hurting worse than usual lately. I knew that if I had taken the kids with me to rehearsal and stayed for church, he would have tagged along no matter how badly he was hurting. So, I had left the kids with him during rehearsal and decided not to attend the service. I know I seriously missed out on a good one, too.

On my way home I saw a Mustang in the ditch on the side of the road. The emergency lights were blinking, and I noticed three people walking up the road. It was a family. Mom, Dad, and 5 yr old boy. They were trying to walk to the nearest gas station...which seemed to me to be a long ways away. I picked them up and drove them. Now, normally I don't pick up strangers. I would dare say that I would not have picked them up if they had not had the little boy with them. It's not that I don't care, but we live in dangerous times. I knew I was taking a chance even with them having a kid. However, I felt that giving them a ride was the right thing to do. I would sure want someone to help me, and indeed there have been times when strangers went out of their way to give me a hand.

So, I get home, and my husband meets me at the van. He tells me that our neighbor across the way has collapsed. Her direct neighbor, an Arkansas Highway Patrol Officer, is with her. He is keeping an eye on her until the ambulance gets there. Her children are running around the court yard. The 4 yr old boy, who I later learn is Michael, has on wet shorts. I have to run to get him out of the street once and then continue to keep telling him not to go to the parking lot. The little girl, Amber, is running and playing. Their mom is propped up against the wall just inside her front door.

I go over and let her know who I am and ask if she needs anything. I let the our Patrol Officer neighbor know that if he needs me for anything to just let me know. I have to get in my own home to get dinner going. I found out that she called her boyfriend (not the kid's dad and not her husband...just some guy she lives with) to let him know what happened. Only, this guy is not leaving work. He has no intentions of coming home. The EMT's get there and decide she needs to go to the hospital. We still don't know what is going on. Is it diabetes? Is it anything to do with blood sugar? Who knows? They wheel her out and ask if I would care for the children because there is no one to leave them with.

I say yes. Sure. Anything to help. I bring them inside after I watch the officer close up the lady's apartment. The first thing I do is find some of Ben's old clothes to change the wet boy. I take his soiled clothes (no underwear by the way, just a pair of shorts) and put them in a plastic bag. I get him some clean undies and a pair of jeans that fit him perfectly. Only, now my kid's bathroom is stinking something fierce. The poor little guy has on no socks. His feet are black and smelly from sweating in shoes with no socks. I don't understand parents who let their kids run around like that.

After I got him taken care of, I looked out and noticed their front door was open. Now I saw the officer close it up, so I was wondering who was over there. My husband was gone to the store to get some butter, so I called my older girl (9 yr old, Riley) to keep an eye on the kids for a minute and stay out of the kitchen. I  jogged over to their apt. just as the lady's boyfriend came out the door. Come to find out, my husband had went to the guy's job and told him there was an ambulance at his house. There were two little kids with no care giver there for them, and he was going to man up and take care of his responsibilities. He told the guy he was coming home. Period.

Well, the guy gave me some song and dance about how they weren't his kids. How he had a huge fight with the lady that day and she had beat him up. How he had tried to get her to eat all day and she refused. He said he was so upset he walked to work, and he got threatened that he might get fired for being late. Now that he had to leave work to deal with this, he just knew she was going to get him fired. I got the feeling he was never even going to let me know he was there. I think he was going to just go back to work and not even look for those babies. I could be wrong, but that is the feeling I got.

He was saying he was going to have to take the kids to work with him. The guy works at our town McDonald's. How did he think he was going to work around grease and fryers with little kids in tow? Stupid. I decided to keep them home with me. Around this time, Shawn got back. When he found out I was going to watch them he got annoyed. He was not upset we were keeping the kids. He was angry this guy was shirking his duties. I told him I didn't trust the guy to care for them.

On a side note, I HATE the McDonald's here in my town. It is filthy. It has horrible service. My kids saw a lady go to the restroom and then go back to work without washing her hands. That was the LAST time we were customers there. Then last night when my husband went and told this guy there was an emergency some other manager or supervisor up there was in the background smarting off how she was leaving at 8 pm and he better not leave...blah, blah, blah. What a piece of work. Such a lowlife. I am not a fan of that place.
I will say this also. If that guy gets fired, it won't be because he was late once or had an emergency and had to leave work. Life doesn't generally work like that. I am sure if they are so quick to threaten firing, it will be after lots of experience of bad work from this guy.

The funny thing is that this guy is twice my husband's size, but my husband brought his butt home. Of course the guy left again, but he told me he would get a hold of the woman's parents to come get the kids.

So, there were were. We fed all the kids dinner and put in a video for them to watch. It was playing in the background while all the kids played with toys. These two children were no trouble at all. They were well-behaved. They were polite. Sweet. I sure felt badly that they had to go through this. Not just being worried about their mom. The fact that these "adults" had had a physical fight in front of them earlier in the day. The fact that this guy was so stupid and uncaring that he couldn't be bothered to leave his stupid job to come care for them. The fact that neither had any problem leaving the most precious things in their pathetic lives to complete strangers.

I talked to Shawn and told him I felt like we needed to notify authorities. I think that someone needs to know what went on. I am not convinced that this lady didn't do the whole thing on purpose to get attention. If she has blood sugar issues, it is her own fault she refused to eat (according to the bf). And I tend to think it was partly as "woe is me" scenario.

Shawn had just dialed his Dad's number (who is a foster parent here in Arkansas) to ask who we should call, when our doorbell rang. I opened the door to find a charming older gentleman who was looking for his grandchildren. We spoke for a little bit. He said he thinks they will be able to bring their daughter home. I still don't know what was wrong with her. He told us that the kids have been through a lot. The little girl had come home from a visit with their father with a big bruise on her face. He piped up and told me she got to have an x-ray. This sweetie pie is 6 years old, but she is tiny. Everything about her is tiny. The thought of someone hitting her little face is just horrible. He told us that Child Protective Services are already investigating the father over suspected abuse.

Now, I am wondering if they will also investigate the mother and the arrangements there. I sure hope so. I am very concerned for them. Please keep these kids in your prayers. If they have a good mom, and the bf is full of it, I hope that comes out. But if they are no better off with her than with their dad, I pray they get put with people who will care for them and love them. We are not going to just forget and ignore. I believe that someone should look into that situation.

Meeting the Grandfather made us feel a little bit better, but still, something odd is going on. Of course, we would not want to say awful things about people with no proof. We would not want to assume the worst, but I think we saw a lot of red flags. I believe abusive people are like cock roaches. If you see one or two roaches, you can bet thousands more scurry for cover when the lights come on and hide in the walls out of sight. If people will show you dirty laundry like we saw last night, can we be sure they are being honest and that they are telling everything? Do we want to take that chance? If they will show that much (and that is plenty of cause for concern), how much more are they hiding?

There are way too many creeps calling themselves Mommy and Daddy in this world.

One More Thing That Will Keep Me From Writing...If I Let It!

So. I had never heard of Spotify before I happened to see a post on facebook about it. Now, I admit that I have been known to spend too much time on Playlist.com. However, it wasn't a constant thing. Well...I am now officially hooked on Spotify. I've made half a dozen playlists in the last day. It is so user-friendly and seems to have...well, any track you could possibly want to hear!!

 Who knew that Scott Grimes was such a great singer?? Do you remember him? Cute red-headed child actor from the 80's? He's awesome. I love his song Livin' On The Run. And Hide is great too. I am seriously digging this guy. He has a sort of Bryan Adams meets Rick Springfield kind of sound. Love him.

Well, as great as Spotify is...and it is...I see how it can be yet one more time-sucker. I already spend too much time on Facebook and blogger. Although, my time here is not as much writing my own blog as reading other blogs. I don't know what I am so afraid of. It's getting to the point that a blank screen or sheet of paper just terrifies me. And so one more day passes without writing a word.

I know one thing is for sure. If I don't put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard with focus every day, I am an idiot and a loser. Christmas is coming. Ereaders are now under a hundred bucks. It is time!! If ever there was a time to get all the stories and people and visions in my head into book and short stories, it is NOW! I have so many people with all of their baggage and challenges wandering around in my head, it is almost as though I have this whole alternate family up there in my brain. And just like my flesh and blood family, it takes all kinds. They are all different and quirky in their own ways. I have the overachievers and the slackers. I have the heroes and the villains. I think we all have the potential to be any of them depending not only on our own choices but also on the cards that life deals us.

I just want to make sense of them. I want to paint them with truth and boldness. I want to make you see them...really know them. Maybe that is what is so scary. I am afraid that I won't do them justice.

I must fish or cut bait. I will definitely have my Spotify playlists on while I type. I can't think of a better way to daydream than to music.

Seriously, I am loving me some Scott Grimes!!

Exhausted and Hoping

I started a new job about a week ago. On one hand, I am excited and grateful. My family needs that extra money. It just is what it is. I am like everyone else just trying to make a way for me and my family. On the other hand, it's a big adjustment. I have to get up between 5 and 5:30 in the morning. I am seriously not used to that. I have to focus on my work and pretty much nothing else for 8 hours a day. That's hard. But you do what you have to do. I like the job. It's not glamorous, but it is a good fit for my skill set.

I am learning how to manage my time better. There is so much I want to do that I don't know how to make time for. I still want to write. I still want to learn more about the Bible and how to study it. I have thought long and hard about taking some Bible school classes. No time for that now. I don't know how or if I will find time to write. I want to lose 60 lbs. I need to make time to exercise. I just don't know how I will fit any of that in. I just stay tired.

I do have something I think will be a lot of fun coming up. I am going to be a part of my church's Christmas production this year. I am looking forward to that. I am glad to have something I can look forward to.

I pray my husband's doctor will get his pain under control. It is wicked and destructive to his life and our whole family. It's rough.

But I know this. I know God has us firmly in His hands. He has ordered our steps and He is good and faithful!!! So, life is pretty good all in all. It's got its trials and its difficulties, but that is all part of being human.