Saturday, January 21, 2012

I May Be Just Who I am, But HE is I Am That I Am!

Me and my family in Eureka Springs 

I am who I am. I'm a bit on the nerdy side, and I'm all right with that. I'm quite a bit overweight. I'm not so okay with that. I love books.  I have since I was very young. I love the sound of fingers typing on a keyboard. I find it exciting. Yes. I am really that nerdy. I love music, and my tastes are all over the board eclectic. I like everything from rap to country to old time rock...but I prefer worship over all of the above.

I adore my family, and I try to be what they need.

I have a temper. I don't know if it's my Irish blood, my hill folk heritage, or my trailer park upbringing, but if something sets me off, the explosion can be pretty loud. I'm not saying that's a right way to behave. It's not. It's a work of the flesh and ungodly. It's an area where the Holy Spirit is still growing and changing me.

I am SUPER proud of my family. My children are a gift from God, and I don't know how I ever lived before them. Of course I had to live before...anyway. Sometimes I think I expect too much from my kids. That's yet another area that I take to the Lord. That and the nagging fear that I could be failing them or holding them back...or just not measuring up as a mom and wife.

The truth is that I could sit here and list a lot of areas where I need to improve. The fact is that I am who I am.  At least for the moment. See, the areas where I can't change on my own  or the places where I might fail and even the parts of myself I'm happy with (the spots where I think I have it together)...I give to Jesus. I give all of me to Jesus.

I am WHO I am, and I will never be anymore than that without His help. I am fully dependent on the Lord. I can do nothing on my own. In Him I live, and move, and have my being (Acts 17:28).

It's so reassuring to know that where I am WHO  (or what) I am, He  Is "I Am THAT I Am (Ex. 3:14)". HE is the self-sufficient one. There is none like Him!! He NEVER changes, but He is the only one who can change me. He needs no one to sustain Him, yet He is my portion. No one can stand next to Him. He has no equal. Yet, He's my shield.

He is I AM! I  am so very grateful and glad that I call Him LORD!