I noticed this morning as I looked at my profile that it says I've been a blogger since December 2005. That's news to me. I don't remember ever signing up, and yesterday's post was my very first ever. However, it doesn't really surprise me. I've noticed something disturbing happening to me over the last say 5 to 7 years. Somewhere along the road I lost all of my intelligence and replaced it with muddy sawdust. Seriously, I walk through most days with my brain is some foggy state of limbo. I can't hold onto a thought. I find it arduous, sweaty work to compose a coherent sentence. I can't seem to think past a first sentence in any of my fiction work. I have no idea what has happened to me? Can a person just turn stupid overnight?
I've wondered why this is. Sometimes I think that being the mother to small children might contribute. After all, I spend a great deal of my day preparing meals or snacks or cups of chocolate milk. Most of my conversations lately have to do with the latest drama on iCarly or The Suite Life On Deck. Also over the last few years, I find I spend WAY TOO MUCH TIME online. Facebook is a blessing and a curse. I've been known to "lol" in real life. I also use the word "awesome" more now than I did in the 80's. That can't be good.
Whatever the reason, please be patient with me during the evolution of this blog. I am hoping that just the act of sitting down and typing real sentences again might help me regain some of the intellect I lost along the way. You know...the whole "if you don't use it, you lose it" nightmare. I'm trying to begin to use it again and maybe get back some of what I've lost. :-)
I just find that I am frustratingly forgetful lately. I used to read voraciously. Now I take weeks to read one book, and I often forget what words mean. This from a girl who was once quite proud of her extensive vocabulary. Not any longer. There has been more than one occasion where I was reading a Monk book by Lee Goldberg and had to stop to look up a word. So pathetic.
Well, I pray that this is just a phase, and as my family grows, my brain will grow back. I think part of the issue may be the complete lack of alone time. Seriously. I'm not even alone now as I type this. My husband is sitting behind me watching TV. My children are in the living room having their lunch break and watching some cartoon. I exist in a constant state of noise. Maybe that is the problem.
Or maybe I was never quite as smart as I always thought I was. Hmmm...could it be?